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As anyone who has visited us here in Pacific Grove knows, we have a lot of deer that wander around. Normally it’s pretty harmless, other than the stupid tourists that stop in the middle of the road to take pictures.

However, today was an exception.

I let Lady, our old black lab, out and instead of going to the bathroom she wanders in the side yard and finds a nice sunny spot to lay down in. It’s a gorgeous day here, sunny and warm. I’m standing on the porch behind the railing and I see a deer cutting through our yard. Now, understand, the distance between me and the neighbors fence is about 10 ft. It’s a fairly tight area. So, this deer wanders slowly past me, watching the whole time, then sees Lady and instead of being spooked, it just continues along towards the rear gate. Lady is to one side of the gate, about 3 ft over and just laying in the grass. Just watching and being an old dog.

The deer gets to the gate, and instead of walking through it and on to the back it turns and approaches Lady. What the heck? When it’s about 2 ft away, Lady still hasn’t moved, she’s just laying in the sun watching it approach, when the damn thing attacks. It does a mock charge and stomp at Lady, who doesn’t know what the hell to make of this and hasn’t even gotten up yet. By this point, my old fat ass is up and over the railing and I’ve covered half the distance to the deer as it starts another stomp at Lady, who is only now starting to scramble out of the way. It sees me, acts like it might make a charge at me, then I think it realized that I”m a hell of a lot bigger and fatter than it is, and I own a BBQ. You can almost see this realization take place in it’s eyes as it turns and makes a dash to the back yard with me hot on its tail.

Not a very smart deer. Little bastard tries that again and we’re having venison for dinner.


Here’s a picture of the suicidal BBQ item. Looks all cute and cuddly. It’s not. It was laying down in the neighbors yard so I went and took a picture.

From Monterey Living

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May 2010
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