Quick background.

I’ve been having weird chest pains off and on for about 3 weeks now and last week I finally had it and went to the Doc in a box. They did an EKG and said, good news is you’re not currently having a heart attack, bad news is that it could well be angina, or a blockage in your heart. We’re not sure. If it happens again make an appointment with one of these cardiologists. If it happens, doesn’t go away and you have any other symptoms Go To The ER!

It’s happened a couple of time since, I just didn’t tell Roberta. Then last night when driving home my chest started aching again. And didn’t quit, this started around 6pm. Around 8pm my arm started to join in the ache. I walked around, tried cracking my neck, stretching, laid down for a bit, and it still wouldn’t go away. Around 8:30 I told Roberta.  Roberta “You Are Going To The ER! Shut Up! I Don’t Care If You Think It’s A Waste Of Time! Dying is not an option for you right now!”

So, off we go. I tell the nurse what doc in a box said, she took my vitals, said you’re going back into this room here. A doc will be with you shortly. Normal stuff. Next thing I know I’m hooked to another EKG, monitor, given baby aspirin, had a thing stuck in my arm, crud load of blood drawn for tests, and Nitroglycerin in a spray. WTF?!? And no, Nitro will not make you run faster! I asked. (-: Works for funny cars but not people. Kind of a let down really.

I was told this was all standard procedure when the symptoms matched mine. Unfortunately I hit all the trigger words. Area pain, stress, family history, type 1 diabetic, and now an ache thats spread to my upper arm. EKG didn’t show heart issues and the blood work looked okay. By this time my chest no longer hurt but I had a dinger of a headache from the nitro. Doc comes in and says I’m not currently having a heart attack, that’s the good news, the bad news is they can’t count out angina/blockage and I might as well get comfortable, I’m not going anywhere. Crap!

18 hours after entering the hospital, 3 blood draws, countless vitals, 2 radioactive dye injections, treadmill stress test, before and after 3d heart images, x-rays, etc. They finally come back and say “We don’t see any blockages.” Images look good. We think everything is okay with your heart. We don’t know what the pain is, but with the stress of your life right now it could be a host of other items, but not a blockage. So, go home, eat right, exercise, and here’s the bill. (-: (insert real heart attack here).

Good news, it wasn’t a blockage.

Bad news, it was one hell of an expensive boondoggle. But, better than the alternative I suppose.

FYI. They have this red glowing thing they stick on your finger to monitor blood oxygen levels and in the middle of the night I thought it would be fun when the nurse came in to point at her with it and say “ET Phone Home!” It was funnier in my head. (-: Nurse just shook her head at me.

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